What’s a Highly Sensitive Person?
As a therapist who has worked with highly sensitive people, and as a person who identifies as highly sensitive, I have gotten all kinds of responses when I speak to people about what a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is. My favorite response is “I’m highly sensitive, too!” It’s a club that you never asked to be a part of, and you probably didn’t know you were a part of for a long time, but there’s an instant kindredness once you know you are a part of this same club.
The other response I typically get is a look of puzzlement and curiosity. Then as I begin to describe what makes a highly sensitive person, the responses vary. Many are curious. Some say “wow, that sounds like me.” Others say “hmm, I can relate to some of that.” And still others continue to be confused by what it is, and some even argue whether or not it’s real (the research says that yes, it is real).
So what is a highly sensitive person? A highly sensitive person is someone with the trait of being highly sensitive. Again, being an HSP is a trait, not a disorder. Someone who is highly sensitive has Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS). Basically, a highly sensitive person processes very deeply and tends to feel sensory stimuli more than the average person.
There are four specific traits that distinguish a highly sensitive person which include:
Depth of processing - HSPs tend to need to process a lot and do it deeply
Overstimulation - HSPs tend to take in a lot of sensory information like lights, sounds, and people’s presence/emotions
Empathy - HSPs tend to read others very well and feel their emotions with them
Sensitive to subtleties - HSPs “read a room” very well, they know when someone is sad, when lights are too bright, etc.
Highly Sensitive People make up anywhere from 15% to 30% of the population. Chances are that if you are not an HSP yourself, you know someone who is. Maybe that’s even why you are reading this article.
Being highly sensitive can feel like both a gift and a curse. I find myself needing to leave parties earlier than others, struggling to not feel irritated when my son gets loud, and not feeling “quick-witted” because I typically need process time before I can respond to someone. These are the moments when I wish I wasn’t highly sensitive.
I also find myself feeling inspired by beautiful music, being attuned to my family and friends in a way that makes them feel very understood, and finding a lot of meaning and purpose in my life because of how deeply I think about everything. These are the moments that I love being an HSP.
The truth is that being an HSP is sometimes wonderful and sometimes terrible. If you find yourself feeling that it’s more terrible than wonderful, please reach out to me. I’m here to help you find your way back to yourself. I can help you tap into the good of being an HSP more than the bad. We can’t change your sensitivity, but we can change the way you interact with and relate to it.
